June 9, 2010

Casting Now Open for 'Titanic 2: Mermaid Saviors'

Ah, Craigslist ... without you, how would we ever find out about kinky foursomes, available apartments and Titanic sequels. Wait, Titanic sequels? Oh yes, in case you didn't know (because none of us did), they're making a straight-up sequel to James Cameron's mega-successful 1997 film Titanic, and it's going to be called Titanic 2: Mermaid Saviors. According to the ad on Craigslist, Megamonolith Pictures (a company I wish existed because that name is just way too excellent) are casting for the Titanic sequel on July 1st and 2nd, and the ad notes that "actors with mermaid and under water acting experience are highly desirable."

Here's the fantastic plot description listed in the ad: "The film begins moments after the sinking of the Titanic. All who have drowned are brought back to life by a futuristic race of mermaids, called the Mantocks, who welcome the humans to their underwater paradise. Soon after, JACK DAWSON is elected king of the underwater humans. DAWSON requests that all humans be returned above water, a request that is denied by KING MANTROCK. The humans are slowly brainwashed into worshiping their mermaid saviors. Meanwhile, the sunken TITANIC has become a haunted underwater wasteland inhabited by RAGGARO and his band of mermaid pirates. Will the humans ever free themselves from their mermaid slavery? Will the mermaid pirates wage war on Mantock?"

Okay, I'd watch that in a heartbeat. Seriously. In order to qualify for an audition, the ad asks that all actors submit a headshot and a "few short paragraphs on why they're qualified for Mermaid Saviors." How about one sentence instead: "I need to be in this thing because Mermaid Saviors sounds AWESOME!"